It's 9:30 am on a Monday morning. After talking to two clients and my boss, I went to the bathroom to see coffee grinds stuck to my forehead.
Why is it that people can't bring themselves to tell you "You got a little somethin'..."
I would.
This is why I have trust issues.
Have a Silly Monday everyone!
Lisa
We're going sledding up north at the cottage this weekend. I remember...
I was a younger tween-ish something. We were up north with my cousins and aunt and uncle. My dad and my uncle take the four kids sledding.
They look at all the kids and think, "Why isn't anyone on that hill right there?"
We'll come back to this. This will always be a sign for decision-making.
So, we go doubles on a sled and my nothing-but-a-peanut of a cousin, Ellen, is in front of me. She's six years younger than me. Basically a toddler at the time.
That is why when we flew into the air because of a bump not seen in the white snow, WE didn't come down the same way with the same force. My tailbone took it all. All of the force. Going through the air, in slow motion (picture faces in slow motion screaming), the helplessness hit that I have no control over what's about to happen. This is going to hurt.
To this day, I have to watch how I sit. Sometimes I have to readjust and lift a cheek (like how untrustworthy boys do when they fart. You know, they just kind of... lift a cheek?). I wonder if co-workers think that's what I'm doing. I am not farting! It's my tailbone.
Sometimes I'll come home and have to lay on my belly. How your feet hurt after a long day? My butt hurts. Like how bad knees tell you when it's raining? My butt hurts. I don't really know that for sure because I have bad knees too. So, I just know it's going to rain.
I have clear visions of my dad, my uncle, my cousin, and my sister (because she laughed) at this snippet of time in my memory. I guess you could say that they are all literally a pain in my ass.
Lessons learned:
Make your dads go first.
Also, whenever you ask yourself "Why aren't people over here?" or "Why wouldn't everyone do such and such?".... Stop and reassess the situation. Maybe ask someone.
I asked myself something similar in Maui. "Why aren't people swimming at sunset?" (It's feeding time for sharks. I found that out and never did that again. If Hawaiians aren't in the water, you don't go in the water.)
There's always a reason... If it's an obvious thought, don't you think all the dummies out there would have thought of that too? Sometimes following the crowd is a good thing.
Just thinking about the unfortunate event is making me mad at my sister for laughing. Inappropriate timing. Jerk.
Take a minute to be silly today,
Lisa
It's snowing again. After a few days of semi-springlike weather, we have been bamboozled once again. I always said that if it's going to be frigid, it could at least be pretty. Covered in a blanket of white snow until it actually warms up.
But, right now...
I'm tired of terrified driving. To and from work, I count where there should be guardrails but aren’t. There’s about 50 death traps if I hit ice, or anyone around me is an idiot. Talk about building a wall- let’s build THOSE walls.
I also believe that if it’s too scary for kids to go to school, we don’t go to work. Adult Lives Matter! We should be in an era where we can work remotely in blizzard situations. I believe we have the technology. Why aren't more companies doing this?
My neighbors have already pulled me out of my driveway twice in about a two week span. I now have to add beer money for them to my winter budget.
It's not my car. It's my dad's. I'm learning it's diva qualities. I hope my car is ready soon.
I guess that's one cool thing about winter- it always brings your community together a bit more. Everyone is out there shoveling and gruffing... It unites us a bit. Unity in the suck. But, it sure is pretty.
I get a celebratory shoveling when I finally get home tonight. After a glass of wine...
Silly Monday to you,
Lisa
Happy New Year! As we are getting back to reality after the holidays, back to adulting and responsibilities, most of us are getting back to the gym as well. Resolutions are so big in January, right?! I caught my reflection in the mirror at Zumba and was thinking, "That can't be right. How did that happen on Christmas break?" Oh my. Damn Christmas cookies. Lasagna. All things Italian and gooey with cheese.
I started thinking back to each year's resolution- the typical standard resolution that I'm sure we all have. While pondering, a flashback popped into my head. I can hear my sister laughing, as this is one of her favorites.
I was at the gym at my old apartment building, on the treadmill. Everything is going smoothly and steady, and then, all of a sudden, I must have hit the wrong button, I don't really remember. The speed changed when I wasn't mentally aware that it was about to, and instead of spreading my feet off to the sides, which are stable, my first instinct was to try to catch my feet up to the track. It was a knobbly-kneed mess. I was going down. I tried to catch up, and was making a go of it for a while like a brand new deer and then the track abruptly flung me to the back of the machine, where I promptly fell. It was loud and obnoxious. Picture someone's face while falling. Yeah. I think that's why my sis likes this story so much. She loves when people fall. You have to admit, their faces are hysterical. This was not just an instant jolt, either. It took a while to actually execute. So my face had to go through a series of contortions.
So, I sat on the ground for a minute and started laughing. The guy next to me was trying to keep his laughter a secret and had to eventually stop his machine and leave. He left the gym. This is what got me- the Barbie chick in front of me- she turned around and gave me stink-eye! Stink-eye! Really? So sorry for YOUR inconvenience. Nice empathy skills at old Ramblewood Apartments.
The gym for grownups is still the same as gym class, when you think about it. We're all vulnerable and probably going to do something wrong or stupid at some point in front of all the kids. More flashbacks coming at me from grade school... Eeshk. And we all had that chick that was perfect at everything and did 50 timed pull-ups when you couldn't even do one. (I just hung there, dangling, in front of Mr. Miller and all the kids.)
You gotta laugh.
And, also, use the elliptical. It's safer.
Happy New Year,
Lisa
Christmas is a huge deal in my family. Growing up, I would help my mom decorate the house, which was not as dangerous, or as funny, as helping my dad put up the lights.
Tangles, nails, ladders, non-working bulbs, freezing your ass off... It was all good fun. It was all a part of it. I even acquired his sound effects while working. We both make that airplane sound with our lips when concentrating on some chore. I don't know why. "I learned it from watching you, Dad!" We both had a lot of laughs, mostly at things that were thrown at us. Laughing at small frustrations is good practice for keeping your humor for the big frustrations in life.
One year, I was exchanging the porch light and the garage lights for Christmassy ones. I put in the red light on the porch and my dad looks over and says, "I live with three women-- we cannot have a red light on the porch! Uh uh. Use the green ones!" Good point. Our neighbors heard that. I think that’s why they all liked us. We always gave them a good chuckle.
No red-light district in Livonia, Michigan...
Another year, I don't remember what we were doing but something was terribly wrong with the lights/cords/etc, and I suggested an alternative that was probably a half-ass solution due to lack of motivation, and he joked very quietly, "We don't want everyone knowing we're stupid..." ;) (You can see that I got the ability to laugh at myself and this abnormal sense of confidence from my dad.)
Things are a bit different now that I am older and I have a house of my own. I am solo on the lighting detail. I have one of those projectors that shine red and green dots all over my house. Done. Lovely. Time for a cocktail. Seriously, a brilliant invention for lazy ones who still want to be festive, and also for single gals who still don’t own a ladder... BUT!! It took me a while to figure out that my house has no outside outlets. I gave it a couple laps around the house. My neighbors were watching. Then, the extension cord was, of course, a big fat mess. De-tangling is not in my wheelhouse of patience. It is my dad's. He loves that shit. Says it's "calming". Crazy. My neighbors got a bunch of expletives during their dinner. It would have been funny had my dad been with me. He’s two hours away, so we are both on our own now for the holiday fuss. Now... this shit sucks. Imagine a toddler shaking something up and down and then throwing it down in frustration. That was me.
This morning, in the light of day, I saw the jumble that I left the extension cord in, and also noticed the mail lady's footsteps in the snow from days before... right through that mess. This is the first day it's been there. I hope she's looking where she's walking today- might I add, through my lawn instead of using the sidewalks and steps that I have to keep clear and salted for her... I really do have to fix it, though. Hope it's not too late. Ahh, she hates me anyway. (If you need a reminder, this is just one reason: https://www.hangingonbysillystring.com/blog/not-today-sucka )
Enjoy the chaos. There is always beauty in the chaos.
Have a Silly Monday and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
May the magic of the season bring out the little kid in you.
Lisa