Treadmill Troubles

Happy New Year! As we are getting back to reality after the holidays, back to adulting and responsibilities, most of us are getting back to the gym as well. Resolutions are so big in January, right?! I caught my reflection in the mirror at Zumba and was thinking, "That can't be right. How did that happen on Christmas break?" Oh my. Damn Christmas cookies. Lasagna. All things Italian and gooey with cheese. 

I started thinking back to each year's resolution- the typical standard resolution that I'm sure we all have. While pondering, a flashback popped into my head. I can hear my sister laughing, as this is one of her favorites.

I was at the gym at my old apartment building, on the treadmill. Everything is going smoothly and steady, and then, all of a sudden, I must have hit the wrong button, I don't really remember. The speed changed when I wasn't mentally aware that it was about to, and instead of spreading my feet off to the sides, which are stable, my first instinct was to try to catch my feet up to the track. It was a knobbly-kneed mess. I was going down. I tried to catch up, and was making a go of it for a while like a brand new deer and then the track abruptly flung me to the back of the machine, where I promptly fell. It was loud and obnoxious. Picture someone's face while falling. Yeah. I think that's why my sis likes this story so much. She loves when people fall. You have to admit, their faces are hysterical. This was not just an instant jolt, either. It took a while to actually execute. So my face had to go through a series of contortions. 

So, I sat on the ground for a minute and started laughing. The guy next to me was trying to keep his laughter a secret and had to eventually stop his machine and leave. He left the gym. This is what got me- the Barbie chick in front of me- she turned around and gave me stink-eye! Stink-eye! Really? So sorry for YOUR inconvenience. Nice empathy skills at old Ramblewood Apartments. 

The gym for grownups is still the same as gym class, when you think about it. We're all vulnerable and probably going to do something wrong or stupid at some point in front of all the kids. More flashbacks coming at me from grade school... Eeshk. And we all had that chick that was perfect at everything and did 50 timed pull-ups when you couldn't even do one. (I just hung there, dangling, in front of Mr. Miller and all the kids.)

You gotta laugh.

And, also, use the elliptical. It's safer.

Happy New Year,


Grams is on Facebook

I have a big-ass Italian family. So many cousins, great-grandkids, aunts, uncles, and so forth. The grandkids all chipped in to get Grandma an Ipad one Christmas a few years back, for games and whatnot. I didn't know exactly who would be taking responsibility to help her with technology, but it made me laugh picturing it. I live two and a half hours away, so I was out.

A while after this, my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and the kids were up north at the cottage and we found out that Grams is on Facebook! How cute! This should be fun. She asked to friend my sister. My mom. So, I wait and wait... Nothing. Hours go by. Huh. My own sweet little Catholic Italian grandmother did not ask to be my friend. What's worse-- she knew we were all up north together! I swear. There's nothing like family to make you feel amazing. Ha ha!!! 

I actually found all of this very cute and funny.  I did wonder which shitty cousin of mine was helping her with Facebook. Ha! 

So, I get into my work week and go to post photos on my business page on Facebook a few days later. Huh. Still nothing from Grams. "Alright, what the hell?" I thought, while laughing out loud. Old people and technology-- especially your family members-- it's just always a good time. So, I sent the request to friend her. Nothing. Three more days go by.

So, I had to make fun of this and posted something. ONLY THEN did my grams respond ever so sweetly and innocently. Apparently, it had something to do with a battery or whatever. 

My cousins had a field day with this one. It's just ironic, because she tells me all the time that I'm her favorite. 
It was funny to me.

Do you have a funny debasing family story? Tell me in the comments!

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Monday Sillies. Have a good day!