So, this just happened...
The boss at the day job has not fixed the bathroom lock- for weeks. So, of course, he opened the door while I was in mid-wipe. Standing, with my hoo-ha out and all.
I swear, I could probably write this blog every week with all the bullshit that happens to me...
The funny thing is, he has to pass my desk, which was obviously vacant, to get to the bathroom. And I was coughing, to let EVERYONE know someone was in there. Whenever I hear footsteps down the hall, I feel anxious.
It has happened before, to two other unfortunate souls in the office. (It reminded me of the Friends episode where they keep walking in on each other in the bathroom and it's a viscous cycle of peeking problems. The difference is that with co-workers in power suits and ties, it has a different air about it.) We are using post-it signs for vacancy- obviously, not efficient. I may just have to get my tools out and go to Ace Hardware.
So, afterwards, my boss was beet red. He had trouble making eye contact. I think it hurt him more than it hurt me.
I mean, shit happens.
Literally, because I had Thai soup.
So, I obviously texted my circle on this matter. While I thought it was funny, I was feeling a bit exposed. Even hours later... Just felt... a bit naked...
This was the response from my circle:
Cousin: "OMG it was a poop wipe?!?!?!?! That's even worse. I'm sorry."
Friend: "I don't stand. Am I wiping wrong?" (Insert laughing/crying emojis)
Me: "Like a half-sit reach?"
Cousin: "Half-sit reach sounds about right." (Insert laughing/crying emojis)
More shitty responses...
Me: "What's worse, is that I'm single, so that area is a bit 'unkempt' at this time."
Also Me: "Can I even write that on my blog? My mother reads it."
Cousin: "Please do!" (Insert laughing/crying emojis)
Friend: "Of course. Who doesn't get that?! I'm unkempt because I'm married. LOL"
Me: "True. So, really, it's only 'kempt' during the woo-ing phase. Then you have to keep that shit up. It sucks. OK, I'm actually going to write about my unkempt hoo-ha online."
Sometimes, you just need your tribe to get you through a shitty time and laugh it off.
Don't have a Shitty Monday.
Have a Silly Monday,