"I DO TOO LIKE YELLOW!" What I Learned From a 5yr old

One weekend I was back home, hanging out with my sister, bro-in-law, and the kiddos, reveling in some cozy at-home time. The kids must've been razzing my nephew, Joshie, 5yrs old, because all of a sudden he yelled, "I DO TOO LIKE YELLOW!!!"  "What's happening?" asked the adults. "She's saying that I don't like yellow and I do!" fumed Joshie. He was TICKED. The anger amplified by the minute. We adults snickered at the ridiculousness of this. They said something parental, which I don't remember, and Joshie moved on.

I thought to myself, wow, how often do I do that too? I'm probably doing it right now. Holding onto things that don't matter at all, really? My situations don't ever FEEL ridiculous, of course, because adults deal with heavier issues, but it still is the same thing when you get down to it. 

"I DO TOO LIKE YELLOW!"  Very much like the key phrases:

  • "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?"
  • "How important is it?"
  • "How cheaply am I willing to sell my serenity?"

These quotes help when I find myself over-analyzing or obsessing over a situation out of my control and not giving my energy to the present moment, or what really matters. My thoughts can drift to past conversations, situations as unfair as all get out (narcissists are everywhere here in adulthood! You deal with one and ten more come out of the woodwork!), the woulda coulda shouldas...  Resentments, memories that barge in uninvited, caring about what other people think-in any way, other people's words or behavior, a misunderstanding, a complete misconception of me- or my work, or a flat out untruth, etc. How often am I bellowing out “I DO TOO LIKE YELLOW!”, deep down, subconsciously, instead of letting go?

At that time, I noticed the correlation with Joshie's anger and some floating feelings of mine, stemming from my boss, company politics, which then expands into a downward black spiral of national politics, and maybe some intrusive unnerving memories of an ex-headcase that comes with random instigators once in a while, trying to get an uprise of mental anguish from me. In such a case, I feel like God is the adult and I am the child, and He’s telling me, “It doesn’t matter. The point is that you are out of that situation. Focus on what’s important- what’s in front of you.”

This correlation is also pertinent to interactions with family members and friends. And again,  politics- any situation out of our control. When you feel like people just don't "get it", or, in Joshie’s case, don’t “get you"-- even if it's your circle, your tribe, the ones who should above all others "get you"--- and you have to defend yourself... You really don't. Ever.

I have a wise old friend that always reminds me, "You know the truth. God knows the truth. That's all that is necessary."  I never thought that I needed those words as much as I do. I've always considered myself one that doesn't care what people think. But that emerges for all of us in a deeper sense everyday. There will always be cases where we have to practice this logic. Detach. There are people we come into contact with daily that will just never "get it".  Their behavior and words could really get me seething... Or I can detach from it completely and cut that string. It doesn’t have to affect me. 

We expect our families to truly know us. But, do you know of anyone who actually feels this way? Me neither. We are human. It can feel comfortless and isolating, but that's all a part of it. It's why we need God so much (or whatever you deem your Higher Power to be), and why it's imperative to strengthen that spiritual relationship continuously.
 
Because I am a sucker for quotes, I will also lay down these well-known gems:

  • "Never waste time on people who are committed to misunderstanding you."
  • "Be a good person, but don't waste time proving it."

Now, when I find myself upset or holding onto something that I need to let go of, when I have this awareness, I hear Joshie screaming "I DO TOO LIKE YELLOW!!!"  And I am aware that I am being silly, and I move on.

Silly Monday to you,
Lisa

Did you like this post? Tell me a trick or quote that helps you to detach and let go in the comments below. Please share this post and subscribe below to receive this silly blog in your inbox twice a month.

"Boss Lady Brain"

Over sushi with a friend, I was recalling all the stupid shit I've done because I have so much going on in my head. It's like having five hundred and fifty tabs open on your computer at all times. That's what it feels like, in the head. So, instead of "pregnancy brain", this would be the correct term for entrepreneurs--and moms-- alike. My friend is both. I don't know how she does it.

"Boss Lady Brain". Because life is chaotic and that's how the remote control ends up in the freezer.

Being a boss lady, you are making decisions all day long. While you're working on one project, five hundred To Do's pop up in your head for other projects. Your day planner is full. No white space. Post it's are on top of post-it's, which are on top of your actual To Do list, because you have no more space to write. I have NINE organizational tools/planners (digital and old-school),  just for To Do's, in different areas of my business/life/artistic endeavors.  It's messy. 

Ambition is not a bad thing. Having a lot on your plate because of ambition is a good problem. Be grateful for this problem. It means you have passion(s), which is good, even if they all come with their own amount of stress.  But, "boss lady brain" is a signal. 

This is when you know you need to slow down: 

I have bought gas, got in my car, and drove for about a half hour before I realized that I never put the gas IN the car. 

I forget to eat.

I have gone to a meeting, locked my car with my keypad on my key-chain, then lost my keys somewhere in that building. This lead to hiring someone to make a key for my car on the spot, realizing everything on that key-chain that pointed to my address-- with my house key included!, changing locks, getting new business keys, and oh yea- my key to my fire-safe is now missing. I had to get my passport for my photography business on a quick deadline, and my birth certificate was in that fire safe. Not a relaxing week for me. 

Years ago, I was watching a movie with an ex-boyfriend. Because of the five hundred tabs open in my head, I had asked him to rewind the movie because I missed something. I was scolded. (Let me just say that I feel that most of the time I can be fully present when I am with loved ones because we all need that quality time. It is essential. I have things that I do to "turn off" and be fully present.) But sometimes, you open your email when you shouldn't. Sometimes, it takes just five more minutes to "turn off".  He called me flaky, ditsy, etc. 

Boss ladies aren't any of those things. They are warriors. They are Boss Ladies! It is an amazing superpower to be master of all the balls in the air. Boss ladies have three million more things on the brain at any given time than the average human. If we give way to "pregnancy brain" as understandable, we can have some compassionate understanding for these warriors too.

It is assumed that everyone knows how much it takes to run the back-end of a business, to being creative, or even being a mom. They don't. They don't know the million things that are on your plate to run your business life, your creative life, your social life, your spiritual life, your healthy life, your family life, your love life. No one truly knows but you. It can be frustrating and lonely when people just don't get it. 

(Just while writing this post, I had to write down three things to learn on newsletters and site design/marketing, and four To-Do's for my business.)

Then, add creativity on top of it! The artist's mind is moving even faster. I can be watching a movie, and hear something that would make a great drawing, or a great article, etc. It never stops. In conversations, in just taking a walk... It rudely interrupts, like a disrupting toddler pulling on your shirt, screaming "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!", that you simply cannot ignore. "Interrupting Toddler" is what I name my artistic inspirations. I am so grateful for them at the same time and I love that toddler. However, sometimes, it's such a gentle whisper and won't even finish the idea before it runs away. Those ones can't be re-called for the life of you, so you better have one of your nine tools with you to write it down before it vanishes into the black abyss. So, sometimes I have to hit rewind on the movie. But, that one minute that I took to write down an idea- that art piece was in two different art galleries this year- so I'm ok with that.

The key to "boss lady brain" is your own awareness. When you need to "turn off"-- to avoid burnout, including mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion. When you find yourself with "boss lady brain," it is a signal that you haven't taken time for yourself. This is not a luxury. It is essential. You can't give to others when you are depleted. The aim is to do to take time for yourself regularly, even schedule it, BEFORE the burnout hits. (So, when I  drive onto expressways by habit instead of where I'm actually headed, adding more time to my already crazy schedule, I know that I am already off and I'm headed into the danger zone of burnout.) "Mindfulness"- practice everyday. Find quiet time. Get in nature. Take a bath with calming music. Exercise. Yoga. Play with children. Meditate. Say a favorite quote to shush everything to healthy perspective. Bring yourself back to the present. SLOW DOWN

I never intended to mix my business with these blogs, but this case is different. I will be sending out ways to "Overcome the Overwhelm" in my photography newsletter. I find that it helps brides and grooms, mothers, and even seniors in high school. I will be sending out many helpful tools on this topic throughout the year. Even if you only have five minutes, there are things you can do to reset your "boss lady brain".  Even if you don't have five minutes- I will give you my favorite quotes to repeat to yourself. You are welcome to subscribe here. It's up at the very top in turquoise.

What silly things have you done because you had "boss lady brain"? You are not alone. We get it.
What's the #1 thing that you do to slow down and "turn off"? 
Tell us in the comments below. 

Do you know an amazing boss lady? Please share this! 
Don't forget to subscribe below to this newsletter, to receive Monday Sillies in your inbox twice a month.

Have a Silly Monday,

Lisa 

Saturday Night Staredown

This one time, I was so drunk...

We had a girls' night celebrating some small victories and I got dropped off at home. I was sitting on my front porch, having a cigarette before I went to bed. I saw a deer on my neighbor's lawn, diagonally across the street from me. He was looking at me. He moved a little bit. Squinting, I tried to see across the street in the dark at this creature that seemed to be doing the same to me. We had a stare down. He's judging my drunk ass.  I agreed with him and went to bed.

The next morning, out my window, I see that the deer is still there, alright. Fake. He's a lawn figure thingee that my weirdo neighbor youths just put out on their lawn the day before. Or did they? How long has that thing been there? As you will see, his head is completely turned away, as if the whole neighborhood has been shunned. Same attitude as the youths that live there.

I swear he was looking at me. I swear I saw him move that night.
Stare-downs with statues.
 

LMS_5567Aweb.jpg

It was funny to me.

Have a Silly Monday,
Lisa

The Grind

It's 9:30 am on a Monday morning. After talking to two clients and my boss, I went to the bathroom to see coffee grinds stuck to my forehead.

Why is it that people can't bring themselves to tell you "You got a little somethin'..."
I would.
This is why I have trust issues.

Have a Silly Monday everyone!

Lisa

My Ass is Broke

We're going sledding up north at the cottage this weekend. I remember...

I was a younger tween-ish something. We were up north with my cousins and aunt and uncle. My dad and my uncle take the four kids sledding. 

They look at all the kids and think, "Why isn't anyone on that hill right there?"
We'll come back to this. This will always be a sign for decision-making.

So, we go doubles on a sled and my nothing-but-a-peanut of a cousin, Ellen, is in front of me. She's six years younger than me. Basically a toddler at the time. 

That is why when we flew into the air because of a bump not seen in the white snow, WE didn't come down the same way with the same force. My tailbone took it all.  All of the force. Going through the air, in slow motion (picture faces in slow motion screaming), the helplessness hit that I have no control over what's about to happen. This is going to hurt. 

To this day, I have to watch how I sit. Sometimes I have to readjust and lift a cheek (like how untrustworthy boys do when they fart. You know, they just kind of... lift a cheek?). I wonder if co-workers think that's what I'm doing. I am not farting! It's my tailbone.

Sometimes I'll come home and have to lay on my belly. How your feet hurt after a long day? My butt hurts. Like how bad knees tell you when it's raining? My butt hurts. I don't really know that for sure because I have bad knees too. So, I just know it's going to rain.

I have clear visions of my dad, my uncle, my cousin, and my sister (because she laughed) at this snippet of time in my memory. I guess you could say that they are all literally a pain in my ass. 

Lessons learned:
Make your dads go first.

Also, whenever you ask yourself "Why aren't people over here?" or "Why wouldn't everyone do such and such?".... Stop and reassess the situation. Maybe ask someone. 
I asked myself something similar in Maui. "Why aren't people swimming at sunset?" (It's feeding time for sharks. I found that out and never did that again. If Hawaiians aren't in the water, you don't go in the water.)

There's always a reason... If it's an obvious thought, don't you think all the dummies out there would have thought of that too? Sometimes following the crowd is a good thing.

Just thinking about the unfortunate event is making me mad at my sister for laughing. Inappropriate timing. Jerk. 

Take a minute to be silly today,
Lisa