ADULT LIVES MATTER!

It's snowing again. After a few days of semi-springlike weather, we have been bamboozled once again. I always said that if it's going to be frigid, it could at least be pretty. Covered in a blanket of white snow until it actually warms up.

But, right now...

I'm tired of terrified driving. To and from work, I count where there should be guardrails but aren’t. There’s about 50 death traps if I hit ice, or anyone around me is an idiot. Talk about building a wall- let’s build THOSE walls. 

I also believe that if it’s too scary for kids to go to school, we don’t go to work. Adult Lives Matter! We should be in an era where we can work remotely in blizzard situations. I believe we have the technology. Why aren't more companies doing this?

My neighbors have already pulled me out of my driveway twice in about a two week span. I now have to add beer money for them to my winter budget.

It's not my car. It's my dad's. I'm learning it's diva qualities. I hope my car is ready soon. 

I guess that's one cool thing about winter- it always brings your community together a bit more. Everyone is out there shoveling and gruffing... It unites us a bit. Unity in the suck. But, it  sure is pretty. 

I get a celebratory shoveling when I finally get home tonight. After a glass of wine... 

Silly Monday to you,

Lisa
 

Treadmill Troubles

Happy New Year! As we are getting back to reality after the holidays, back to adulting and responsibilities, most of us are getting back to the gym as well. Resolutions are so big in January, right?! I caught my reflection in the mirror at Zumba and was thinking, "That can't be right. How did that happen on Christmas break?" Oh my. Damn Christmas cookies. Lasagna. All things Italian and gooey with cheese. 

I started thinking back to each year's resolution- the typical standard resolution that I'm sure we all have. While pondering, a flashback popped into my head. I can hear my sister laughing, as this is one of her favorites.

I was at the gym at my old apartment building, on the treadmill. Everything is going smoothly and steady, and then, all of a sudden, I must have hit the wrong button, I don't really remember. The speed changed when I wasn't mentally aware that it was about to, and instead of spreading my feet off to the sides, which are stable, my first instinct was to try to catch my feet up to the track. It was a knobbly-kneed mess. I was going down. I tried to catch up, and was making a go of it for a while like a brand new deer and then the track abruptly flung me to the back of the machine, where I promptly fell. It was loud and obnoxious. Picture someone's face while falling. Yeah. I think that's why my sis likes this story so much. She loves when people fall. You have to admit, their faces are hysterical. This was not just an instant jolt, either. It took a while to actually execute. So my face had to go through a series of contortions. 

So, I sat on the ground for a minute and started laughing. The guy next to me was trying to keep his laughter a secret and had to eventually stop his machine and leave. He left the gym. This is what got me- the Barbie chick in front of me- she turned around and gave me stink-eye! Stink-eye! Really? So sorry for YOUR inconvenience. Nice empathy skills at old Ramblewood Apartments. 

The gym for grownups is still the same as gym class, when you think about it. We're all vulnerable and probably going to do something wrong or stupid at some point in front of all the kids. More flashbacks coming at me from grade school... Eeshk. And we all had that chick that was perfect at everything and did 50 timed pull-ups when you couldn't even do one. (I just hung there, dangling, in front of Mr. Miller and all the kids.)

You gotta laugh.

And, also, use the elliptical. It's safer.

Happy New Year,
Lisa





 

RED-LIGHT DISTRICT FOR CHRISTMAS

Christmas is a huge deal in my family. Growing up, I would help my mom decorate the house, which was not as dangerous, or as funny, as helping my dad put up the lights. 

Tangles, nails, ladders, non-working bulbs, freezing your ass off... It was all good fun. It was all a part of it. I even acquired his sound effects while working. We both make that airplane sound with our lips when concentrating on some chore. I don't know why. "I learned it from watching you, Dad!" We both had a lot of laughs, mostly at things that were thrown at us. Laughing at small frustrations is good practice for keeping your humor for the big frustrations in life. 

One year, I was exchanging the porch light and the garage lights for Christmassy ones. I put in the red light on the porch and my dad looks over and says, "I live with three women-- we cannot have a red light on the porch! Uh uh. Use the green ones!"  Good point. Our neighbors heard that. I think that’s why they all liked us. We always gave them a good chuckle.

No red-light district in Livonia, Michigan...

Another year, I don't remember what we were doing but something was terribly wrong with the lights/cords/etc, and I suggested an alternative that was probably a half-ass solution due to lack of motivation, and he joked very quietly, "We don't want everyone knowing we're stupid..." ;) (You can see that I got the ability to laugh at myself and this abnormal sense of confidence from my dad.) 

Things are a bit different now that I am older and I have a house of my own. I am solo on the lighting detail. I have one of those projectors that shine red and green dots all over my house. Done. Lovely. Time for a cocktail. Seriously, a brilliant invention for lazy ones who still want to be festive, and also for single gals who still don’t own a ladder...  BUT!! It took me a while to figure out that my house has no outside outlets. I gave it a couple laps around the house. My neighbors were watching. Then, the extension cord was, of course, a big fat mess. De-tangling is not in my wheelhouse of patience. It is my dad's. He loves that shit. Says it's "calming". Crazy. My neighbors got a bunch of expletives during their dinner. It would have been funny had my dad been with me. He’s two hours away, so we are both on our own now for the holiday fuss. Now... this shit sucks. Imagine a toddler shaking something up and down and then throwing it down in frustration. That was me. 

This morning, in the light of day, I saw the jumble that I left the extension cord in, and also noticed the mail lady's footsteps in the snow from days before... right through that mess. This is the first day it's been there. I hope she's looking where she's walking today- might I add, through my lawn instead of using the sidewalks and steps that I have to keep clear and salted for her... I really do have to fix it, though. Hope it's not too late. Ahh, she hates me anyway.  (If you need a reminder, this is just one reason:    https://www.hangingonbysillystring.com/blog/not-today-sucka )

Enjoy the chaos. There is always beauty in the chaos.

Have a Silly Monday and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

May the magic of the season bring out the little kid in you.

Lisa

 

 

 

Christmas Snow

There are times when laziness and procrastination really pay off.

I have been in my house for about two years. My basement is my nemesis. Nothing has been unpacked and it's all boxes. So, I made the first effort last year to at least BUY the shelves, put them together, and get ready to unpack sometime in the next two years... Ha! I'm slowly working through the upstairs still. 

So, my nephews and niece were over at that time. One corner of styrofoam. That's all it took. My sister and I turned our attention away for two minutes. The two year old created a Michigan winter in my basement. I was laughing at first. At first. It was stuck in her hair, all over everything, and hitch-hiked its way upstairs, so it really was everywhere. 

Those little fly-aways are tough to catch, dammit.

I tried vacuums, dry-vacs, tape, etc. Of course my family gives me the ghetto dry-vac held together by duct tape and missing parts, making a frustrating clean up even more frustrating. At one point I had three dry-vacs in my basement and none of them worked. I finally just got a new one- with a cord as long as your arm. I did what I could and called it a day. There are too many boxes. You can't even walk through half of the basement.

So, that was last fall. Now it looks like planned Christmas decor. 

Good work.

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Have a Silly Monday,

Lisa

Man, I'm Old

....Speaking of getting older, I pulled a muscle in my neck yawning.

My face afterward was probably pretty funny. "Did that actually just happen?"

I've been having a hard time with the acceptance of getting older. 
It comes in bits.
When you look in the mirror and say, "That can't be right..."

Also, when you are invited to a Halloween party and the theme is pop culture... I have no idea what pop culture is in 2017. So old. All I got was "Look What You Made Me Do", Taylor Swift. That idea is the top one on The Google for Halloween ideas, so that's out. I got nothin'. 

I realized in volleyball this past week that I truly am the oldest I have ever been. I am just going to get older, too! I know. Crazy, right? I thought I was invincible- like it just wouldn't happen to me... until I was about fifty or sixty. Not so. I have never felt that I aged a decade between volleyball seasons, except for this time. While I used to dive for digs and at least get to the ball, the movement of the ball didn't even register in my mind until it hit the floor. Now, if it's too far and I deem it to be unattainable, I just say, "That's a good serve", while I stay in the exact same spot. We had a laugh about our hearing this time. Someone heard "appendix" out of no where, so now that's what we yell when we can't hear or when anyone gets confused. Also, "side effects" was mistaken for something, meaning we are all on medications already, pretty much.

At least laughing about it will always help. Aging is inevitable, difficult- more so when you see it in your family members... but it is also pretty funny. Humbling. 

 I'm so damn tired. It's Monday morning and I already want to take a nap. Remember the "student nap pose"- resting your head on your hand, to make it look like you were reading? Yeah, that was my favorite. I may pull that off today at work. However, with this trick, you really need to be mindful of the vicious head bob that gives you away. And it also scares the shit out of you.

When has the awareness of your own aging hit you? Leave it in the comments below!
Have a Silly Monday,
Lisa